2020년10월

2014년우버에서만난 60대한국분:

“제가 우버해서 일주일에 천불씩벌고 밤에는 청소를하고있습니다.  한국안성에 제가 농사짖는땅을 천평가지고있어는데 2년전에 미국올때 평에 십만원씩해서 팔고왔는데 지금은 20만원이라고하네요. 다시한국돌아가서 농사지어야하는데 그때땅을 않파는건데 잘못했어요.”

지금 2020년도에는 아마도 이분땅이팔은땅은 평당 쉽게 50만원은 할것같음.

2020년8월

교포초등학교 남학생이 친구한테 하는 말:

“너알어?  Girl들은 Don’t know하면  Yes야.”

텍사스에서 돌아온 석유관련일하는 옆집백인청년:

Henry, I made $250,000 last year. Best year so far.

유태인 여교수 Debbie:

Debbie: Henry, I am Jew and I teach literature at LMU (Loyola Marymount University). My father is a survivor of Auschwitz. I said to my father that I hate Germans and want to have nothing to do with them. My father said “Don’t fight my war. That was my war. Go and make friends with Germans. I don’t want you to fight my war.” So I made many friends with Germans and my sister bought a German car last year, first time in our family.

손님회사 백인여자 manager Gene, 사무실건물보고난후:

Gene: Henry, can you give me a ride to Subway?

Henry: Subway 샌드위치가게까지 운전해줌.

Gene: Henry, I am sorry but can you take me to subway station where I take train, not sandwich restaurant?

2020년 1월19일

Europe에서온 여자분 Laura:

Laura: Henry, why do you have so many homeless in LA?

– We have many laws protecting homeless. Police cannot take away tents of homeless or other belongings.

Laura: You mean if I put up a tent in LA, I can live there?

– Sure. Be my guest. You can live there as long as you like.

년매상 2억불 식품회사사장 Mr I 의 후회:

Henry:    I didn’t see your company products in Whole Food Market.

Mr. I:   That’s the worst mistake I made in the US. I was doing business with Whole Food and I had a meeting with Whole Food owner in Utah. He asked me not to do business with few of his competitors. At that time, one of Whole Food’s competitor was asking for our products and I did’t know what to do.  Then one of my manager said we can make one more brand, and we created one more brand and did business with Whole Food’s competitor. But soon, words got around and Whole Food’s wife is lawyer and she filed complaints against us and since then, we could not do any business with that company. That was the worst mistake I made doing business in the US.

같은나이의 미국인Charlie의 군대생활:

Charlie:    I served 4 years in the Navy Sea Bee (해군건축부대). I was in Diego Garcia, Clark, and Okinawa. We had so much fun and we had party every night. After the service, Navy paid for my college tuition and now, Navy is paying $240 of my rent every month.

Henry:    I served 33 month in South Korean Army and we were beaten up 3 nights a week and were paid five bucks a month.

시청공무원 Dennis:

Henry:   What are you doing in that $100,000 sports car?

Dennis:   No. $200,000. This is Lamborghini.  I rented it for $1,500 a day for 3 days. I rented it 3 days because I get 1 day free if I rent for 2 days.

Henry:   Your wife OK with that?

Dennis:   Henry, you only live once.

미국인 여자 부동산 손님 Jane:

Henry:   You rented this car Mustang? My god, this must be expensive.

Jane:  Henry, after 40, you got to have what you want.

미국인 할머니 Laura:

Laura:    Henry, you know my son married a Korean girl.  She owns top 50 law firm in California, and only one owned by female.  She is very smart girl.

2019년 8월

미국, 일본, 한국인 회사일을 해줄때:

미국회사: Henry, I am paying you $1,000 extra this month for you have worked so hard for us.

일본인 회사: Henry, I left extra check for $500 for extra job you did. You didn’t ask for it, but you need to get paid. Come and pick it up from my office.

한국인 회사: 강선생님 그일하러가시는 길에 그쪽테넌트좀만나서 서류전달해주시고 그리고 홈디포가서 물건좀 사다놔주시고요 – 시간이 많이걸려 할수없다고 하면 돌아오는 대답:

1. 기왕하는김에 그것좀해주는것이 그렇게 힘드냐.
2. 우리만나서 손해본적있는냐. Extra charge 없음.

From Ireland:

“My name is Charlotte.  I am from Ireland.  I am psychoanalyst.”

“I am Henry.  From Korea.  When I was in college, I bought a book written by Irish writer but it was so boring and confusing that I gave up reading it.”

“What’s name of that book?”

“Dubliners.”

“Oh James Joyce. I know some other people who gave up reading it. My boyfriend makes a lot of money. He makes $100,000 in a month, but he also spends a lot. ”

“How does he spend money?”

“He buys expensive cars like Lamborghini and gamble. He spends but he says he can make more and he does. So I keep my own money and he keeps his money.”

“That’s good. For my wife, her money is her money and my money is also her money.”

“You ok with that?”

“Well, she says she love me.”

“Love is so difficult to quantify. Henry, read Dubliners once again. You will like it now.”

Harley Davidson motorcyclist:

Henry: “You got a nice bike. Must be around $15,000.”

“Not even close.  You can make down pay with $15,000.”

부동산업자 Faulo & Chinese Fiance in Irvine:

Henry: “Hey, you know those cars passing, they are all Asians. This car that car, all has Asians inside. I see ten cars passing by, all Asian drivers. You need at least $15,000 income to live in this area.  All these Asians have high income jobs?”

Faulo: “You Chinese?”

“Korean”.

“It’s not the job. These are Chinese from China. They bring black dollars. My fiance is Chinese and she says all these Chinese bring illegal money from China.  I facilitate their real estate purchases and I carry trunk full of cash from their place to bank. My fiance says she is sad that all these Chinese steal money out of  China.”

UCLA Friday 오후5시, UCLA 금발머리여학생 Jacqueline:

“Henry, I have 2 dates and I am going to San Diego.”

“You mean you have 2 dates in one evening and then go to San Diego?”

“Yeah. I have two dates with two different guys and after that I am going to a party with my boyfriend to San Diego.”

부동산큰손 손님 김사장 & City Planning Officer Ariette (시의 건물사용승인 담당관):

Henry: “Goodmorning Ariette. How is everything? You know I have plans here that reflect things you told us to change. We also did works on the building as in the plan. I guess we meet all your requirements.  Can you let us put in tenants?”

“I am fine, thank you. Let’s see. Everything seems fine. You finished changes on the building, right? Yeah you can lease out the building.  By the way Henry, the guy who were with you last week (김사장), is he always in bad mood?”

흑인손님  Charlie:

“Henry, I went to a bar last week, and there were six white ladies sitting in the table next to me.  You know what? One of them came to me and asked me if she can kiss me as she has never kissed a black guy before. I said yes and she kissed me. And then you know what happened? All other five ladies came and kissed me.”

백인금발미녀 투자가:

“Henry, you got to tell me how I can make one million dollars without putting any of my money.”

인도사업가:

“Henry, you give me the building and I will give you stock of my company.”

대학교수 Archie:

“Henry, tell me a mechanism of real estate investment. ”

“What do you do for living?”

“I teach aerodynamics at Airforce Arcademy in Colorado. ”

“You see that Starbucks building there? It used to be fastfood place. Somebody bought it for a million and half and put in Starbucks,  knocked out the existing building,  put in another half million and built new building. He should be getting ten grand rent a month and will sell it to investor at 4 million.”

“I am surprised that Starbucks doesn’t own that building.  You mean to tell me there is somebody who is willing to pay four million for that building?”

“Yes, there is. Trust me.”

욕심쟁이  cheap하다고 소문난 한인 부동산업자 K:

“헨리선생님 나는 사람들한테 잘해주는데 왜사람들은 나를 피하고 뒤에서 흉보는지모르겠읍니다.”

영주권이 필요한 한국여자분:

“헨리씨 내가 한국에도 나갈일이있는데 못나가요. 시민권있는 남자분좀 소개시켜주세요.”

“좋은분이 있는데 아주머님은 영주권만받으면 신발꺼꾸로 신으실것 같은데요.”

“신발꺼꾸로신는게 무슨뜻이에요?”

“한국에서는 남자들이 군대가면 사귀던 아가씨들이 신발을 앞을뒤로 돌려신는다는 이야기에요.”