2018년 4월

10년전 식당매니져하는 일본분의 말:

• “내친구가 대한항공윌셔호텔 일식당에서 수시맨을하는데 거기서는 회사의 높은분이 온다고하면 식당내의 손님을 다내쫒는다고하네요. 희한하네요.”

2달전: 다른일로 아는 김여사:

• 김여사: “헨리씨 내집좀 팔아줘요.”
• “왜요? 작년에 사모님집내놓으실때쓰시던 에이젠트있쟎아요.”
• 김여사: “그사람 여자손님 성폭행해가지구 잡혀가지구 지금유치장에있어요.”

한국여자부동산 에이젠트 지나:

• 지나: “누구한테소개 받았는테 코머셜부동산좀 알으켜주세요.”
• “사무실로 오세요.”
• 이런저런이야기하고 주차장으로 배웅나감. Full size, brand new Mercedes Benz가있음. “이렇게 좋은차 타고다니세요?”
• 지나: “사람들이 코머셜부동산할려면 좋은차있어야 한다고해서 어제뽑았어요.”

일본여자부동산 에이젠트 Michiko:

• Michiko:”Henry san you got to help me. I need your help.”
• “Yeah. Sure. Anything you say.”
• Michiko:”I have Japanese company that wants to buy their company building.”
• “You can call seller’s agents and talk to them. Why do you need my help?”
• Michiko:”I called few of them but these guys say how much they like Japanese women, how nice Japanese women are and they want a Japanese girl friend. They wouldn’t tell me about building. So I need your help.”

이태리여자손님 Anna사장:

• “You know Anna, Korean women like Italian men because they are handsome.”
• Anna: “Really? I never thought about that.”
• “You mean Italian men are not attractive? Why is that?”
• Anna: “No. We have different point of view.”

식당에서 옆테이블의 2한국여자분들의 대화:

• A: “아까사람들이 나를 자꾸만 쳐다보더라.”
• B:”너뭐하고 있었는데?”
• A:”과자먹고 있었어.”
• B:”무슨과자먹고있었는데?”
• A:”그냥과자인데 봉투에 개그림이있었어.”
• B:”이상하다. 왜사람들이 너를 쳐다보았을까?”

중국론하는 여자분의 한국어:

• “헨리 말한마리가 론해서 고마워요.”
• 해석: 헨리가 말한마디로 손님께 소개해줘서 론받아 고맙습니다.

트럼프대통령이 당선되던날 미국인 남자친구와 이런저런이야기중이었슴. 미국인친구에게 전화옴.

친구:  “Henry, sorry. It’s my mom.” “Hi Mom. ….. I’m fine….. Yes I watched the news….. Yes Trump is new President…… Mom don’t cry….. Mom it’s OK…. Stop crying Mom. It’s not the end of the world….. Mom, nothing’s gonna happen…….Mom, don’t throw yourself out of window….. Mom please cool down. See you.” “Henry, sorry. My mom’s really upset over the result of election.”

한국인회사에서 일하는 호세: “Trump is torai. Trump is michinseki.”

미국회사의 미국인여자receptionist의 한국어:

• “I have an appointment with Mr. XXX.”
• Receptionist: “Ok. What’s your name? Are you Korean?”
• “Henry. Yes.”
• Receptionist: “Oppa. Joahaeyo.”
• “What did you just say?”
• Receptionist: “OPPA” – 오빠
• “My god. Where did you learn that?”
• Receptionist: ” I worked at a Korean company and managers there told me to call them OPPA.”

신기한 논리 (매우극히드문경우):

일끝나고 돈받으러갔는데 돈줄손님이 하시는말씀:

• 돈주시죠.
• 무슨돈이요?
• 이일끝나면 $2,000 주기로하지않았습니까?
• 아예. 그때헨리씨가 일끝나면$2,000불주어야한다는 이야기기억합니다. 하지만 그때저는 듣고만있었지 드린다는 말은 않했습니다.

임대해주면 $4,000 주기로한 식당주인이 하는말

• $4,000 주시죠.
• 건물주가 두명인데 한사람한테만 서명받았으니 $2,000 만 드리께요.
• 가주법에 건물주는 한명만 싸인해도 임대가 성립이되는데요.
• 아니에요. 한명만 싸인했으니 반만드리께요.

일본분회사와 제일교포회사와의 차이:

일다끝나고 수수료수표받을때

• 일본분회사에서는 끝나면 그회사매니져한테전화가옴. “Henry, we have your check for $5,000 ready. Come and pick it up”.
• 제일교포회사에는 끝나면 전화를 함. “Can I speak to Mr. XX?” “Who is this?” “Henry” “Hang on a minute.   —- Henry, I am sorry Mr. XX is not it.” 사장이 돈않줄려고 전화를 않받음. 결국 수수료 못받음.
• 일본분 A회사사장 으로부터 B회사 사장소개를 받아 B회사건물딜을 끝내 A회사사장에게 감사차봉투들고 찿아감. 사장: “What’s up?”  Henry: “I got something for you. I finished deal for your friend.” 사장: “What’s in this envelop?” Henry: “$3,000. I like to thank you for introducing your friend”. 사장:”Henry, thank you but I cannot accept it. If I take it, it looks like I sold my friend to you”.
• 제일교포사장: “헨리씨 내친구가 건물하나살려고하는데 소개해주면 얼마줄겁니까?”

부동산투자건물 구입하시겟다는 한국아주머님과의 대화:

• 나: “상가를 구입하실려구요?”
• 아주머님: “예.”
• “돈어느정도있으세요?”
• 아주머님: “XXX은행 Saving구좌에 한 육천만불있구요 그것말고 또많이있어요.”
• “아 예.”

러시아에서 온여자사장님손님 Reiva:

• Reiva: Henry, tell me what you did last night.
• I had a friend came over from San Francisco so we had dinner and some drinking.
• Reiva: What did you do day before yesterday night?
• I had dinner with a client and we had some drinking.
• Reiva: How about the night before?
• That night was my friend’s birthday so we went out.
• Reiva: How about the night bofere?
• I cannot remember but I was with somebody.
• Reiva: Every night you had a party and you men always have excuse.
• Well.
• Reiva begins to cry.
• Why are you crying?
• Reiva: I don’t know I just feel so sad. How is your wife?
• She is fine always as usual.
• Reiva: She is lucky she have you.
• But you have that Russian guy I saw last time, right?
• Reiva: He is good for nothing scoundrel.

타운하우스찿는 30대여손님 혜경. 밤9시에 전화옴:

• 무슨일이세요?
• 혜경: 집에물이세요.
• 아직집을 않사서 집이없는데 어떻게 물이세요?
• 혜경: 다른에이젠트통해서 샀어요.
• 그럼그에이젠트한테 전화하시지 왜저한테전화하세요?
• 혜졍: 그에이젠트가 전화를 않받아요.
• 3일후에 밤10시에 또전화옴:
• 무슨일이세요?
• 혜경: 제남자친구가 저를 막때려요.
• 그럼경찰을 불러야지 왜저한테 전화하세요?
• 몇일후에 그녀의 미국인 애인 (Jimmy) 을 우연히만남.
• Your girl friend called me and said you beat her up.
• Jimmy: Yeah.
• What’s going on?
• Jimmy: I borrowed twenty grand from her for my restaurant and she asking and nagging me everyday.
• Please tell her not to call me.

중국에서온 Buyer손님:

• “You know, in LA, price of house went up by 3 times in the last 15 years.”
• Chinese Buyer: “In China, house price double every year.”
• “I see.”

손님의 질문:

• 손님: “앞으로 집값이 어떨것 같으세요?”
• “집파실분이 물어보면 내려간다고 하고 사실분이 물어보면 오른다고 하니까 사모님은 사실분이니까 오른다고 하지요.”

Conversation with elderly Russian Lady Eva.

• Eva: “Why you Korea have North and South?”
• “Your strongman Stalin sponsored war through North Korean army.”
• Eva: “He did that?”
• “Yeah. I am surprised you didn’t know that. What’s happening in Russia now?”
• Eva: “It’s so sad. Government officials are stealing so many things and make it theirs. So many thieves in Russia. I feel like crying whenever I think of Russia.”

Bel Air 의 어떤집에심부름가서 주인할머니 만남:

• “Wow.  You got a really nice house. This house must be around $30 million.”
• 할머니: “Nope. $83 million.”
• “Sorry.”

약대대학원다니는 한인여학생 :

• 학생: “선생님 저공부그만두고 부동산관리업할까봐요.”
• “왜요.”
• 학생: “약사남편들은 다하나같이 빈둥비둥거리고 놀아요. 저는 결혼하고 남편이 일않아고 집에서 노는꼴을 못볼것같해요.”

헐리우드에서 만난  다이아몬드상인 벨기에에서온  A씨:

• A: “I am from Belgium.”
• “I know Belgium. It’s a small country in Europe.”
• A:”Belgium is in the center of Europe and very beautiful country.”
• “What do you do for living?”
• A: “I am in diamond business.”
• “I see. You here for business? “
• A:”No. I come to see my son. We are 4th generation diamond business since 1920. We go to Africa to get diamonds. This is very secretive and closed family business. We don’t teach outsiders. I want my son to take over business. Few years ago, my son came to me and said he does not want the business but wants to get into movie business in Hollywood. I said OK. He is now working as camera man on Jennifer Lawrence’s movie Red Sparrow. He wants me to meet his daughter. That’s why I am here. Henry, how about you. What is your job?”